Are you ever in a situation where you’re just being teased? It is frustrating as all hell; the tension can be cut with a knife, you start to sweat, you may even start to get a bit aggressive, nothing is worse. A good friend of mine we used to call him the king off teasers (my gambling friends we are talking about something different here), every morning after a night of drinking almost all of his stories would start with an emphatic “Man I just got fucking teased all night again!”. Our good friend knows exactly the type of frustration and build up to no grand finale I’m talking about, like a firework that shoots off into the sky but then fails to explode into its beautiful effects and colors.
Now who is causing all of this frustration and how they are doing it?
The Who: NFL Coaches and Organizations
The How: Dangling a rookie quarterback in-front of me and not just playing them!
- My #1 Teaser: The Chicago Fucking Bears
- I mean what are they doing?! This was about as frustrating as watching the Miami Dolphins march out Ryan Fitzpatrick last year while they had Tua just sitting on the bench except it is just infinitely worse. At least with Fitzpatrick there was the excitement of your 50/50 shot at getting either Fitzmagic or Fitrztragic and in hindsight Tua has not exactly shown to be as good as we expected him to be yet. When it comes to the football team up in The Windy City though you have a coach and a GM who are just trying to save their jobs. We all know what Andy Dalton is, a decent game manager at most, he is clearly not the future and at this point he may just be the next Tyrod Taylor until he retires. What makes this even worse is is they straight up dangled Justin Fields in front of us putting him in every couple plays letting him get no rhythm. The icing on the cake to it is I think he actually carried the ball like twice! Why even put him in there if he’s just going to hand the ball off?!
- Teaser #2: San Francisco 49’ers
- Now I can’t go in on this team as much because while they did do the same thing the Bears did showing flashes of Trey Lance, they at least have a competent coach which Matt Naggy is certainly not. Kyle Shanahan has proven to be smarter than the Average Bear and took a Jimmy Garappolo led team to the Super Bowl. Garappolo’s biggest downfall has really been injuries so I don’t view him in the same way as Dalton. I still think you should just start the kid though you drafted him #3 overall for a reason, Kyle Shanahan you are a good enough head coach quit teasing me!
- An old flame who started the teasing: My own Philadelphia Eagles
- Last year was when the teasing started, you waste a second round pick on a QB after signing your “Franchise” QB to a four year deal, the “Franchise” guy sucks it up and looks like a shell of himself. You then proceed to march this second round QB out there for one play where all you have him do is hand the ball off. There is eons more frustration involved in this situation but when Carson Wentz clearly doesn’t want to be there and we as fans all are clamoring for Hurts because at that point it couldn’t get worse, Nike. Fuck you Howie (good week one boys, don’t get me excited to rip my heart out though).
There are plenty more examples over the past 5 years of this but these three are the ones that have blue balled me emotionally so much in these situations that I’m at the tipping point and a slight breeze could cause a mess in my football pants. Sure I’m just a dumb fan so what to I know but… I’m also just a dumb fan that watches a lot of football. These kids have proven they are much more NFL ready than the ye olde testament of NFL scouting says. College and professional offenses are starting to not look as different as they used to, having taken snaps under center I don’t find to be as important more and more plays are run out of shotgun in the NFL (another frustrating that could be explained further in another blog). It’s similar to the “Stereotypical” NFL quarterback thing that I think also has to go (again another blog to come for this) the NFL as we used to know it is evolving very very quickly in-front of our eyes and I’m here to keep you up to speed.
Just put them in, put them all in, let them learn from their mistakes. If they aren’t the guy they are never going to be the guy no matter how long they sit, at least this way you get immediate satisfaction or disappointment. Also, as fans Watching you trot out a washed up quarterback who we all know what their ceiling will be IS UNBELIEVABLY BORING AND GIVES ME ZERO REASON TO PUT YOUR GAME ON!!!!
The Hamm Report 